biennale

As they say in Singapore, "by right", I should be a seasoned local given that I have resided here for over two years now. 2. hang on, didn't I tell my mother that she need not be concerned as I would only be here for about two years? I guess I did. Things change?

But not really. I have no long term plans to stay in Singapore. Then again, I don't really have long term plans, not if it excludes the general plan to get married one day and have babies. In the long term, I see myself in Sydney, but I really honestly have no idea when that will be. The only pulling factor is the tugging of my heart strings, work-wise, it doesn't make any sense.

Anyway. I don't feel that I've really evolved over the past year or so. I still have hateful thoughts penetrating my mind and shooting out of my eyes, materialising into transparent bolts of disdain. My most common hate-thoughts over the past two years:

Fuck. You have that awful Chinese man smell. Oh you smell. Oh HOW YOU SMELL. Is it better to breathe through my nose or my mouth. OMG if I breathe through my mouth I'll be practically drinking the core of your odour. Get me off this train.

Back off. You're standing too close to me.

Do you realise that you are simply unable to walk in those 3 inch heels?

Stop staring at me. You are a rude person.

C-O-M-M-O-N C-O-U-R-T-E-S-Y. How do I go about inserting it into the Singaporean mindset? **TOP URGENT** WHAT THE FUCK IS "TOP URGENT" anyway?!

I've decided to stop here because bringing on all of this hatred mustn't be good for me. I guess if I set aside my standards of basic manners, courtesy and abilities to co-exist with the general public then it's not so bad. Everything here makes basic living quite easy. The eating, the drinking, the transportation. Some being more costly than others, but I sure do not miss the qualms of living out in the 'burbs and fretting over the $60 cab ride home from the city for a Friday night drink.

It's a see saw ain't it.

xo